Immersion

“We want to open our Bibles and find a verse that will correspond directly to our problem and provide a solution.  But that’s not how we get wisdom.  Finding that wisdom is “straight” (Proverbs 8:8-9) comes from immersing ourselves in Scripture—all of it, not just a passage here and there and as we do, it shapes our understanding about all of life.  If we make a habit of Scripture immersion, we will find, when confronted with one of life’s difficulties, that the wisdom we so desperately need will come to us a lot more easily.  Wisdom is indeed clear, but its clarity doesn’t come in a three-easy-steps sort of way.  The more we soak ourselves in God’s Word, the more we will be able to readily lay hold of wisdom we need for particular circumstances.”   (emphasis mine)  -Lydia Brownback

This has rocked me this week.  I feel as if wisdom is calling to me when she says “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?”  I don’t want to be naïve and ignorant.  I don’t want to be undiscerning, not knowing what to keep in or out of my mind.  But yet I am.  And the only way to not be simple is in Christ.  So I will strive to actively pursue wisdom, to actively pursue Christ (Proverbs 2:1-5).  I will strive to immerse myself and soak in God’s Word.    

“Leave your simple ways, and live, and walk in the way of insight.”  Proverbs 9:6

Star shaped sugar cookies

Growing up there was never a birthday celebration skipped.  Typically, mama would cook a meal and cake of our choice.  Some years we had the entire extended family to join us for supper, some years an "attempt to stay up all night", squealing girls slumber party was included (which I'm sure my parents are thrilled those are only a distant memory).  Regardless of the way we celebrated my mom always did her best to ensure I enjoyed the special day.  Now that I'm a mama I have the responsibility of planning birthday celebrations for Roxie Kyle.  We weren't sure we were going to be with Roxie on her first birthday so when we found out that she would be home, my mind started spinning. 

The meaning of Roxie is "star; bright; dawn" so it seemed only appropriate that we celebrate with a star theme.  So the planning began.  We would have star shaped sugar cookies, a big number one cake decorated with stars, star suckers, star garland . . .  

One night when I was checking things off of my party to do list I began to think about this little girl we were celebrating.  She truly was a "star" in our lives and had "bright"ened our home so much!  As much as I wanted to celebrate her first year of life, I had to stop for a minute and ask myself what all this work was for.  You see the decorations and food and hoopla is fun, but I've found it's so easy to get wrapped up in all the extras, the things that truly don't matter.  I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with the star garland streaming from every corner of the room or dozens of star shaped sugar cookies.  Who doesn't like a big old sugary piece of cake piled high with ice cream at a birthday party?!  

However, is that overshadowing the true source of our celebration? 

"Through him we have birth and life and every thing and every person in our lives.  So God is the reason we have anything to celebrate.  He is the ultimate source of any of our celebrations."  -Noel Piper

Roxie Kyle is a gift from our Father.  She is made in His image, knit together in her birth mother's womb, planned before the creation of the world to be a part of the Wilson family.  The type of celebration may vary from year to year but what should not vary is that we will strive to demonstrate God's love for her and say to her "we are thankful to God for giving us you!"

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is not variation or shadow due to change.  James 1:17

           

The Best Part of Waking Up

When I wake up in the morning, I tiptoe downstairs and pour myself a big piping hot cup of coffee in my favorite mug from a tacky New York souvenir shop. I snuggle between the pillows piled high on the bench in the sunroom. This is my time. The quiet of each morning, watching the small part of the world around me wake up, having a few minutes with B before he heads to work, spending time with God.

Something new has been added to my mornings though. The reality that the crib across the hall holds a little one is still a bit surreal. To peek in the door before she wakes and see her tiny body snuggled up with her stuffed animals seems make believe. But it's not make believe. She's real and she's here, every single morning. When she wakes and I walk in her bedroom door our eyes meet, and she smiles. The sight of me makes her smile. Some mornings it's too much to take in and I let the tears fall. As I scoop her up in my arms and she snuggles sleepily up to my shoulder, I thank God. I thank Him for the blessing of being her mama.

year ONEderful

Today is Roxie’s birthday.  Her first birthday.  I’m bursting with all sorts of emotions. 

Excitement that she is one. 

Celebration that she is with us.

Pain that we missed 11 months.

Anticipation for what’s ahead.

In the (almost) one month that she’s been with us, she’s changed us.  She’s brightened our world.  She’s turned pain into rejoicing. 

When I think about her birthday, the blessing that we get to celebrate with her in our arms, there is also a sense of aching in my heart.  How many children are out there celebrating a first, second, tenth, eighteenth birthday without a family?  How many families are out there longing for their children to be in their arms?  I can’t ignore this aching.  So what can I do?  What can you do?

Over the past year so many of you have journeyed with us to bring Roxie home.  You have cried with us.  You have rejoiced with us.  You have prayed for us, for her, and helped us carry the burden to labor for her arrival.  We have felt so encouraged by your sense of support. 

In honor of our girl’s first birthday, I’m extending to you an invitation.  An invitation to help other families bring their children home.  An invitation to help just a fraction of the 150 million orphans worldwide. 

Hope That Binds is an adoption and orphan care ministry that provides adoption grants and fundraising support, adoption consultation to churches, and adoption advocacy.  By donating you are helping families to celebrate birthdays together, not to mention the other 364 days.  Any funds given here will go 100% to adoption grants. 

Giving is easy.  Just click on the donate button below.  

Love List

It’s been awhile since I added something to my love list but this is worth taking the time to love.  Roxie Kyle is teething.  The messy, wet kind of "I put everything within my sight in my mouth” kind of teething.  So . . . when I came across these necklaces I had to give them a try. 

Mindy Mae's Market offers a super cute necklace for mama to wear and baby to chew.  And it’s safe for your little one’s mouth.  Plus, if Roxie’s not in my lap or arms I can just slip the necklace around her neck. 

There are a variety of colors and bead shapes to choose from.  The $21.99 price isn’t too bad either (especially considering what I’ve spent in $2 and $3 teething toys).  For a lower price of $9.99 they also offer a teething bracelet (it doesn’t have as many options on bead choices). 

Just a side note, Mindy Mae's Market has lots of other cute things, so make sure to browse through their site.  

Click here to purchase.  

The Greatest Love

Maybe I was a bit overzealous for our first Valentine’s Day.  I want to give homemade cards and since Roxie Kyle can’t write it seemed only appropriate to use her thumbprints.  Well, have you ever tried to use a pink inkpad with eleven month older wiggly fingers?  Pink ink was everywhere and the cute little thumbprint hearts I had in my mind didn’t turn out to even resemble a heart.  

Regardless, we had a sweet time together, mother and daughter, working on our first craft project.  (I hope there are many more to come). 

While we crafted I told her about Valentine’s Day.  I told her it was a day dedicated to celebrating love. 

I told her I loved her (for probably the millionth time). 

I told her about the greatest love. 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

“but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 5:18

I told her about the greatest commandment.

“And He answered, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:27

I told her my prayer for her is Jesus will be her greatest love.

I told her that His love is better than life. 

“Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.”  Psalm 63:3

I know that right now she may not understand what I’m telling her.  But I also know that I am commanded to teach these truths to my children at all times. 

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise . . .”  Deuteronomy 6:6-7

What a sweet responsibility to teach my sweet girl these truths.  Praise be to God!  

Forgetting what lies behind

As I walked into the care center I saw a group of women huddled around a tub filled with soapy water, washing bottles. They looked up as I walked in the gate, no greeting.  I continued walking toward the door and spoke my daughter's Ethiopian name with question to the first person I saw inside the house. The lady understood the name and pointed toward a door, one which I already knew led to another baby's room. That's good, I thought as I headed toward the other room. This room, I knew from our last visit, was smaller.  Roxie would probably receive a little more one on one attention from the nanny. As I walked into the room I spoke her name again to the nanny standing inside the door. As she turned the small room came in to view and I saw her, those eyes.  Those eyes that nine months ago stared at me on the computer screen for the first time, eyes that I had looked at more times than I could count on my phone, eyes that I saw when I drifted off to sleep each night. The difference is that now I didn't have to look on a computer screen or on a phone or in a memory.

I scooped her up from her bed and pulled her in close for hugs and kisses. This was my daughter. The daughter God had planned for me before the beginning of time. I didn't have to leave her again.

After a quick change of clothes we passed out hugs and thank yous to the nannies, collected a container of Ethiopian formula, and climbed into the van. I breathed a sigh of relief that the waiting part of this process was over.  She was finally in my arms.  Arriving at this point had been a journey filled with joy but also suffering.  As the van moved forward carrying this new family of three I couldn't help but look ahead to all that was in store.  I was reminded of the apostle Paul's words.

". . . Forgetting what lies behind and straining to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

I want to embrace each experience God gives me along the way.  I want to embrace this sweet memory of bringing Roxie home and all that God has taught me.  But it is not the end. It is only a portion of the race, this earthly journey.  There is still so much more ahead, so much more to look forward to.  Ultimately I must continue to strive towards the goal of being like Christ.  

"Only let us hold true to what we have attained."

Rejoice in the Lord!